I'm tired. A sentiment that bonds us together right now, seems like I hear it from everyone for different reasons.
I'm tired of missing people.
Tired of not being able to hug my grandmas.
Tired of only seeing my friends and extended family through a computer/phone screen.
Tired of online classes.
Tired of seeing the number of people dying everyday.
Tired of scheduling things.
Tired of wearing masks.
I think I often forget that we are still living in a pandemic. And then throw a winter storm into the mix and life feels completely stressful. It feels like I constantly need to be reminded that none of this is normal. That we shouldn't have the pressure to bounce back right away. That we need to give ourselves (and others) some grace.
Last week was crazy. 4 inches of snow?? in Texas?! I didn't think that was possible. At the start of the week, we were having a grand old time (as you can see from these pictures), and watching little snowflakes fall was magical.
But what they don't show you is the emotional turmoil we all experienced as power outages and water shortages shook the core of our neighborhoods. I felt helpless as I thought of everyone struggling to keep warm. And some people are still feeling the effects. Please consider making a donation to a local mutual aid organization or food pantry. They're doing amazing work!
Though the storm left, the emotional suffering remains. Prayer has been hard lately. No motivation to even show up, feels like I'm giving out of an empty cup. There are definitely higher powers at work trying to keep me from God. But I hear my Father say, come as you are.
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28
I was not expecting this to be an emotionally challenging Lenten season. Not expecting to be called to be uncomfortable and vulnerable in the desert. Honestly, I don't feel prepared. But I know God is good. And this journey is with Jesus, so I am willing to take each step trusting He is by my side.
Oof. This was tough to write. Tough to admit my imperfections. I hope it provided some sense of comfort, knowing you are not alone in your feelings! And through it all, we can still practice gratitude! What a gift!
Sending lots of love,